Trepidation

I spent all day making memories
To replace the ones I’ve got
Trying to outrun the sorrow
And finding I could not
Every face became a picture
Every moment frozen still
Paralyzed by all that haunts me
And strangles all my will

I spent all night killing brain cells
Hoping that I could forget
The dream that never leaves me
And keeps my pillow wet
Waking only to tomorrow
Knowing it’s another day
Where I pay for all my missteps
Looking for the time to play

I spent years inside a numbness
Medicating my own mind
Thinking I was on a journey
Then arriving just to find
That I’m right back where I started
Where the past comes back to call
And I’m trying to start over
So afraid that I will fall

cn 12092011